The Deranged Duck

Malfoy, head of the BAD society, or the Breed A Duck, rapped his beak on a stick.
"Attention!" he quacked,"As we all know, the hens have just been let out. Here are the hens each of us will breed. Sweetheart, you breed Eerie. Musket gets Tippy, Shmit gets Badora, and Smut gets Puh-uh. I get Blackie, Purple, Buffy, Lavender, Jumper, Wasp, Quacker, and Booboo."
"Hey!" shouted Musket,"That's no fair!"
"Hear hear!"
There was a great amount of shouting over fair and 'I should be the leader' and 'uh-oh, here comes King.'
Malfoy swaggered over to King Konk and, with an impudent grin, said,"Hi King. Wanna breed hens? Or maybe you could let us breed Comet."
King, who was in a VERY bad mood, basically blew up.
"Don't,"he said, whacking Malfoy with his wings with every word," EVER-LET-ME-HEAR-YOU-SAYING-THAT- EVER-AGAIN!!!! COMET-IS-MY-MATE -AND-I-WILL-BREED- HER-AND-NO- STINKING-DUCK-EVER-WILL-TOUCH-HER!!!!!!!! DO- I-MAKE-MYSELF-CLEAR?!!!!!!!"
"Yes, your holiness. You make yourself as clear as fresh poo-poo."
"AROAR!!!!"King screamed." COMET IS MY WIFE AND IT IS GOING TO STAY THAT WAY AND NO SUCKING DUCK IS GOING TO BREED HER!!!!!!!!!!!"
With that, King bonged Malfoy on the head and threw him straight at Musket.
"SQUOWK!" Musket squealed.
Some time later, Malfoy woke up. He felt awful and bruised and his head was hurting tremendously.
"Lollipop. Me need lollipop. Juice. Ketchup. Duck Meat. Me goona eat King." Malfoy yelled.
"I beg you pardon." A polite Loose-like voice said.
"Loose? Gimme water."
"Yes, this is Loose. I've got some bottled water right here."
"Gimme. How get it?"
"Oh, there was a man who dropped this bottle on the ground and I dragged it over here." Loose said truthfully.
"Fine. Gimme." Malfoy said, dumping the drink down his throat. The drink burned like fire. Malfoy had the impression of the world turning over and suddenly his brain felt fuzzy.
"Wazza madder?"Malfoy asked."Mez gidding a bat feeding aboud thiz."
Malfoy walked unsteadily towards the gate before he copllasped. "Me headz bloing ub."
For the next half an hour Malfoy sat in the gate, muttering things like 'bozzer dat Loo gooz' 'me need a nappy' 'whoz zat' and other phrases.
Suddenly, Malfoy heard a yell. The boy was coming to get a goose and his bike was inches away from flattening Malfoy.
"Helb." Malfoy croaked.
The boy stopped the bike just a second before Malfoy would have been squashed. Then he picked Malfoy up.
"Led me go. Me hasn't done nuffin. I sayd, let me go cuz me ain't appy bout thid. lllet mu-me g-go."
The boy sighed. "Alcohol. I'll have to get you a cure."
He dumped the retched duck in a tiny little pen and went back into the house.
"Hey,"Malfoy muttered," This in't nice. Led me owda here. Me'll murder ya if ya wain't."
to be continued...