I hate drakes

I HATE DRAKES
I hate drakes,
They've got the brain of a garden rake.
Their breeders come out,
I know without doubt.
I hate Sweetheart,
He's got the brain of a cart.
I hate Molfoy,
He's got the brain of a tolfoy.
I hate Smut,
He's got the brain of a nut.
I hate Musket,
He's got the brain of a pusket.
I hate Shmit,
He's got the brain of a git.
I hate all our male ducks,
Especially Molfoy, who sucks.

Exerpts from a book I REALLY like

These exerpts are from a book called GAMES YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR PUSSY. It is really funny. Here are my favorite parts:
PUSSY POO-POO
Pussy poo-poo is the most unpleasant thing about having a pussy. It goes in as tuna and cream, but it comes out as something that's responsible for a lot of air freshener being sold.
But poo-poo is one of those unpleasant facts of life, like taxes and leisure suits, so you're just going to have to learn to deal with it.
Dealing with it: One thing about cats. They are creatures of habit. If a cat makes a poo-poo in a corner once, it will make poo-poos there for the rest of it's life. So make sure your pussy starts poo-pooing where you want it to poo-poo, and not, say, in your loafers. Otherwise, you will spend a lot of time washing your socks.
Now, once your pussy starts too poo-poo, you'll want to put something under it to poo-poo in. Which brings us to...
The litter box: Litter boxes come in two sizes. Too small and too large. The ones that are too small force your pussy to make poo-poo and wee-wee over the sides of the box, thereby negating the box's worth. The ones that are too large look empty unless they have 25 pounds of litter in them, thereby making your litter bill equivilent to your weekly food bill.
Littter boxes are made from three materials: plastic, which costs a whole lot more than you can imagine; cardboard, which sags when it get wet; and foil, which pussies like to rip up so any excess fluids can escape. None solve the worse problem of the smell.
The smell: There is nothing you can do about the smell. You can put baking soda in the litter if you want to find little white pussy tracks all over your house. You can try to build an enclosure over the top of the litter box and thereby release all the smell at once every time you change the litter. You can even try putting perfume in your pussy's food. It won't work either. Just resign yourself to the fact that you can never have guests in your home again.
When to change the litter: Since you yourself will have long lost your own sense of smell, you should look for indications for when it's time to change the litter. Are insects dropping from the air? Is your pussy spnding a lot of time with it's legs crossed because it's to disgusted to go in there? Have they tacked a "quarantined" sign to the side of your house?
Alternitives: Teach your pussy to use the toilet. You use the toilet at the gas station.
Have your pussy surgically altered so it never makes poo-poo, then watch it blow up like a balloon.

PUSSY GIVES YOU A GIFT
What pussy owner has never recieved a gift from his pussy? Like a dead moth or a gnarled flower. Or a half-eaten mouse. Or the stuffing from your favorite chair.
Perhaps you never considered these things to be gifts, just pussy yucch. But think for a moment. When a pussy wants to express feelings of affection for it's owner, it can't whip out a Mastercharge and run down to Saks. It must rely on the resources of its own cunning. So a dead mouse on your doorstep saysm "I love you." Unless you have a Sicilian pussy. Then it means, "Say you prayers, fetticini fact."
In truth, most people are puzzled by pussy gifts. They don't know what to make of them.
WHAT TO MAKE OF THEM
Here is a list of things your pussy is likely to bring you and what they mean.
A dead mouse- 1. I love you. 2. I hope you find this in the morning after a greasy breakfast cause I love to watch you throw up.
A dead bird- 1. Catching a bird is a feat of great prowess. I did it for you because I love you. 2. I found this in the street. Throw it away, will you, old man? The smell is making me nauseous.
Stuffing from your favorite chair- 1. I opened a new present for you. And there's more from where that came from. I love you. 2. Look what I found. I tried to put it back, but I couldn't. Why don't you stuff it?
A dead dog- 1. I am mighty and will protect you from intruders. I love you. 2. I fixed old Bowser's ass. And I can fix your's, too. Remember that the next time you're to tired to get up and let me out in the middle of the night.
A dead mailman- 1. Whoops. 2. Whoops.

KICK THE PUSSY
Street shoes are okay, but many prefer to play wearing hush-puppies. Of course, considering the object of the game, your pussy may prefer not to play at all.

DUCK DEATH

Duck Death
The chopping block's ready
The ax is all sharp,
Soon these stupid drakes will be deady.
The wathcers are by the old tarp.

We grab Beetheart,
Out of the cart.
Say goodbye to life,
Get rid of your strife.

Down comes the ax,
Beetheart now quacks,
The head, off comes it,
Ah, death, you zit.

Off comes the head,
The duck is now dead,
Goodbye you loony,
You stupid ol' moony.

Car books and items

I have written tiny car 'books.' (Cars as in badcars. Go to my brother's blog at sootcentral.blogspot.com to learn more about badcars.) The books are very short. Here are a few 'books' I have wrote.
Foods to Avoid by the hospital
Introduction If you care about health, do not eat these foods.
MOCOCO Mococo is bad for your brain. Certain cars have suspicions that mococo was made from chemicals.
SMILE CANDY Smile candy has too much sugar and lots of addictives in it. Smile candy makes you very fat.
PLASTISIZED BOOKS Plastic is unhealthy for your body. If you eat plastic you should take an unsick pill.
BACON FAT Bacon fat makes you very fat. It also clogs the thinking track. Fortunantely, bacon fat is rare.
POTATO SKINS Potato skins have dirt on them and it is not good to have dirt in your body.

ABOUT THE HOSPITAL The hospital is in goodside.

'THIS BOOK HELPED ME SLIM DOWN.' - SKEEPER


MOCOCO by Imp

Mococo is a good beverage. It has a whole lot of uses. It is a good stain-remover. However, it's taste is even better. I strongly recommend it. For more information on Mococo, go to ggg.mococo.good.

Mococo is, of course, a very bad substance. It has strange effects. Mococo has coffee in it, but at the same time it is trying to make you go asleep.
Imp made mococo and he ripped up The Truth of Mococo because it strongly urges you not to drink mococo. He also burned all the fish tails in town up, because fish tails cure you of mococo poisoning..
Mococo made many cars fat, and since it has addictives in it, he made a fortune off all the $10 cans.



PLEASE NOTE THAT MOCOCO IS NOT REAL!!!!!!!!!!

...and Tuesday was murder...

TUESDAY WAS MURDER! TUESDAY WAS MURDER! TUESDAY WAS MURDER!
Tuesday was T-R-U-L-Y murder. It was very hot, and we were driving in Montana and later Sheridan.
I honestly felt I was dying from the heat. (Partly because the car we were in doesn't have air conditioning.)
I WAS NEVER SO MISERABLE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When we got back to Sheridan we went to Jay and I's music lesson. HOT!!!
Then we went to Valley Motor Honda. HOTTER!!!!
Then we went to the feedstore. HOTTEST!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAS SO MISERABLE ON TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEVER GO TO TOWN IN THE SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

The mystery of 'Cinderella' and 'Sleeping Beauty'

CINDERELLA
Once upon a time there was fairly pretty girl named Milicent. Milicent was kind, and had dyded pink hair and clear blue eyes. One night Milicent realized her Daddy was going to marry the next morning.
The woman he was going to marry was a mean, beautiful woman named Abigail. She had two beautiful, mean daughters named Georgina and Yvonne.
A few nights after the marriage, Millicent went into her Dad's room and found him lying on the floor, dead.
Upon closer inspection, Millicent saw Abigail's gold necklace on the floor. She also found Yvonne's long length of string on the bed.
It turned out that her Dad had been strangled.
When she walked down the stairs to Yvonne and Gorgina and Abigail, their actions were immidiate after Millicent told them that there had been a tragic accident upstairs.
Abigail turned pale, Gorgina dropped her cup of coffee, and Yvonne asked how Millicent's dad had been killed.

Who killed Millicent's Dad?

Sleeping Beauty
Once their was a King and Queen who had a pretty baby girl. They named their girl Mrose, a 'greek' word for different.
Then the King and Queen invited all the 12 fairies to dinner.
Unfortunately, their Royal Highnesses had forgotten about the 13th fairy.
All thirteen fairies came to the party and gave their gifts.
"I will give this girl the abilty to change into any animal at will." said Mary.
"I will give her the gift of never getting false teeth," said the tooth fairy.
Said Laura "She shall never, ever, get very, very hairy."
Said the midsummer eve fairy "Her love for summer shall never vary."
The other fairies gave gift of jewels, spinning spools, mules, schools, dogs, hogs, pogs, and bogs.
Then fairy 13 stepped forward and said,
"A hunter shall find her and strike her dead.
One of these girls gifts shall assist her death."
And so, with that, the fairy left.

Whose gift will kill Mrose?


Yvonne kiiled Millicent's Dad Ron. If she had not killed Ron, she would not have known that the tragic accident was centered around the death of Ron.


Mary's gift will kill Mrose. Since a hunter will kill Mrose, it is likely that she will turn into a deer at the time of her death.

Wedding from a Goose's Point of Veiw

In this story, Loose has been mated to Sparky and has fathered 4 goslings. King occasionaly would sneak off to bed with Athena, while his mate Comet sat on her nest.
____________________________________________________________
"I am so looking forward to this wedding," I think. I don't have enough time to think anymore, because Meesa dashes in my room, holding a papered bundle of something-or-other.
"Get up, Athena," Meesa snaps," Loose is waiting for you, and the wedding begins in half an hour."
I stand up, groaning, because I have a feeling I know what is in that bundle. Sure enough, it contains a wedding dress. The state of the dress knocks me senseless. The chest part has mud caked on it, and the holes where a bird's wings stick out are way too big. The dress once was a black, red, green and blue thing, which would have been bad enough, but the colors clash with my dark brown feathers.
"I know this dress isn't very pretty, but it's the only thing Comet would lend me." Meesa is saying.
"Comet wore that dress??!!!!!" I screech.
"Yes. Now, I'm going to put it on you."
For the next half an hour Meesa puts the dress on me, pulling out at least a dozen feathers as she goes.
Finally, I am ready to go out and get married.
"Now Athena," Meesa says, pulling on a white and black dress," Remember to say 'I will always be married to Loose, in sickness and in honk' and you'll be fine."
"Yes Meesa."
As I walk out into the marrying place, I hear music. BOOM BAM BAMETY BAM. BAM BAM BAM BOOMETY. BOOM BOOM BOOMETY BOOM BAM BAM BAMETY. Not a pretty sound.
As I see who is going to be marrying us, I almost have a heart attack.
Queen is holding the book 'A Honk to Love', has plastered a purple suit on himself, and he has also taped an enornmous black mustache to his beak.
"We now gather in this sacred place to witness the marriage of Loose De Honkardi and Athena La Corncob." Queen begins." Loose, do you promise to marry Athena and care for her in sickness and in honk?"
"Yeah."
I catch sight of King and Sparky looking ready pounce at Loose...
"Athena, do you wanna marry Loose? Hurry up, I gotta go to the bathroom."
"I w-will always be maried to Loose, in s-s-s-s-sickness and in ho-"
King and Sparky suddenly jump out at Loose, clobbering him with great blows of their wings.
I take one look at Loose, and then start to cry.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

THIS HEAT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! NUTS!! INSANE!!
Yesterday the heat was over 90 degrees at five o'clock! Today it is supposed to get to 93 degrees!!!!
This heat is driving me crazy. Yesterday (and today) I was and am wearing my coolest outfit. I'm not hot today yet, but I DON'T think I'll be feeling cool by the end of the day.
By the end of the day I will have spent at least 8 hours on school, 2 1/2 hours on chores, 1 1/2 hours of music, 1 hour on library and other things time, 1/2 hour driving home from Sheridan, and 1 hour on eating. I also have spent about 8 hours of sleep.
Tuesdays are no fun usually. Today this Tuesday will be MURDER!!!!!!!!!

IQ Test

This test tests your ability to recognize true things from false things, your knowlege on geese, and your knowlege on a few different animals.

ANIMAL IQ
1. The goose Queen up here is A. Female or B. Male.

2. True or False: Pilgrim geese ganders sometimes have more than one mate.

3. Panda Bears never: A. drink, B. stink, or C.think.

4. True or False: My name is spelled Keeley.

5. My brother is in my opinion: A. A total idiot, B. The nicest boy on earth, or C. An egghead.

6. True or false: Machu Pichu is in California.

7. I hate the book: A. Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back, B. Bunnicula, C. Hitty, Her First Hundred Years.

8. True or false: Jason kissed me last night.

9. Rinoserous's horns are made out of A. Bone B. Hair C. Straw

10. True or false: I hate Star Wars.

11. I don't want to see the movie A. Revenge of the Sith B. The Phantom of the Opera, or C. Fat Albert.

!2. I A. do B. don't play music.

13. True or False: I am six years old and am tapping into my brothers blog.

14. True or false: The names of the Baudelaires and the Count are Veronica, Klyde, and Sally and Count Omar.

15. True or False: You cheated on this test.

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Answers

1. B.

2. True

3. A.

4. False

5. A.

6. False

7. C.

8. False

9. B.

10. False

11. C.

12. A.

13. False

14. False

15. Your Answer

If you got 10-15 answers right, then you are classified Smart.

If you got 5-10 answers right, then you are classified Normal.

If you got 0-5 answers right, then, sadly, you are not very smart.

If you cheated, then you are very stupid.

If you think I downloaded this off something, you deserve fluff rather than a brain.

If you are offended by this, write a comment saying 'I AM NOT STUPID' or realize I am NOT trying to offend you.

'M' Diaries

The 'm' in this title means 'birds up here whose names start with m'. Those birds would be Meesa, Miah, Mr. Winston Goose, Molfoy and Musket. I am sure these animals think differently, but here is my version of their diaries.

Me, Meesa, and the goslings

6-14-05
Today was a good morning. I managed to escape through the fence easily, and then I hooked up with Sparky's goslings.
"Honk honk honk HONK." I said, scolding those fluffwads. "NEVER RUN OFF WITHOUT ME!"
"Yes Miss Meesa," the fourth gosling said.
Number four is SO obedient. Only a little after I scolded the S goslings, three of them ran into the doe pen. But dear number four stayed with me.
About 45 minutes later, as my goslings and I were in the circle drive, Miah escaped from the pen by the milk parlor and ran over to me.
Then I had a good breafast. When Sparky came to get her goslings, she told me that when the human took her, he had called her a VVSUM, which stood for Very Very Scared, Upset Mother.

Me and my days

6-14-05

As everyone knows, my name is Miah. I had an awful morning. The human girl took me. I had a very bad time until Sparky arrived in the pen I was in, and then I contented myself with ripping feathers out of Sparky.
I escaped the pen by flapping over the wire. Ha HA! I had managed to get out of that pen AND no one attempted to re-catch me. Ha HA HA! Sparky was still in the pen, since she doesn't flap when she's molting.
Then I said hi to Meesa and the goslings.
Then I just had to eat breakfast.

Love of Miah

6-14-05
I spent the morning moping around, feeling sad. Why didn't I mate Miah in the Spring? Why didn't I sing her my love? These questions whirled around my head for quite some time. I realized that I should have sung Miah 'HONK honk HONK honk' or 'I so love you.'
Maybe I should sing her 'HONK HONK SQUAWK SQUAWK HONK HOSQUAWK' in the spring. I composed this song, and it means, 'I, Mister Goose, love you so much that my eyeballs are popping out.'

HEN HEN HEN

Prophecy of death

Where's a hen? Where's a hen? I want a hen. I want a hen. I want a hen. I can't find a hen. Oh well, there's a drake. I'M GETTING ON HIM!!!!! Fina- CRACK SPLAT PPPT ACK OW OW OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

King

The future.
I shall ride in a goose-drawn carriage. I shall step on Molfoy's beak and Shmit's wing. They shall say 'Quad quad. Thag you for steppig on my beag' and 'Pin me to the ground, Master! Use me as your carpet!'
Alas, that is the future.

'Magic'

'Magic,' in my opinion, is not magic. (Duh.) When my cousin was here, he had a box of magic tricks. I only remember one of them, but now I have the knowlegde on how you put a green scarf in a bag and make a blue scarf come out.
It turns out that there is a secret compartment in the bag. First of all, you let everyone examine the bag and the scarf. Then you pat the green scarf into the bag. (This part is a must.) Then you say 'abra kadabra' and flip this piece of wire to one side. This opens up the other compartment, which is the same as the other one, except that it has a blue scarf in it.
I'm going to see a magic show on saturday at the fulmer library. YEA!!!! I think the magician is supposed to be pretty good.
This might be a magic trick. (I made it.) It's called "How to Fall Asleep."
Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla


If you aren't asleep or to bored to read this, read "How to Go Asleep" again.


If you STILL aren't asleep, read a different blog.






"A DIFFERENT BLOG"

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday new bloh- og, happy birthday to you.


If you are confused, just realize that the magical world has stolen your brain.

Also realize your brain will be returned in two minutes time.

Distorted Nursery Rhymes

SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE
Sing a song of sixpence,
A pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty rotten eggs,
Baked in a pie.
When the pie was done,
The eggs began to crack,
Let out the rotten smell,
And made the cooker hack.
The cooker went to the King
Counting all his money,
The King went to the Queen
Eating bread and honey.
All three went to the maid
Beating up a cad,
Down fell an egg,
And made them all sad.

BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool?
No, sir, no, sir, no bags full:
No wool for my master, no wool for my dame,
Only a kick for the boy who lives in our lane.

SNEEZE ON MONDAY
Sneeze on Monday, sneeze for help;
Sneeze on Tuesday, kiss a whelp;
Sneeze on Wednesday, get a purse;
Sneeze on Thursday, something worse;
Sneeze on Friday, sneeze for no sorrow;
Sneeze on Saturday, see you goose tomorrow.

HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a camel hump;
Humpty Dumpty had a great jump;
All the King's horses and all the King's dim-wits
Cannot find the place where Humpty got hit.

BOBBY SHAFTOE
Bobby Shaftoe's gone to tea,
Rusty buckles on his knee;
He won't come back and marry me,
Ugly Bobby Shaftoe.

Bobby Shaftoe's old and dumb,
Sucking on his bloated thumb,
But he's my love for evermore,
Ugly Bobby Shaftoe.

The Birdy Who Is Probably Going To Be Dead Soon

Comet, the old goose who lives here, has her days numbered, unfortunately. It's not like we are going to kill Comet. I wish it was, because then we could decide not to do her in.
On Tuesday evening, when Jason was holding Comet, we noticed that Comet was panting heavily. Comet couldn't have been panting from exhaustion, and she wasn't panting from fright, either.
Whan we were almost done with chores, Dad, Jason and I examined Comet. I held Comet while Jason held her beak open and Dad and Jason looked down her throat. It turned out that Comet had grain in her throat. It also turned out that that was an indication that Comet had grain in her lungs.
Comet has stopped panting by now and I am just waiting for her to get pneumonia.
We think that when it Comet was eating (on Tuesday) she breathed in at the same time and the grain went with the air to her lungs.
I feel so sorry for Comet. I so hope she lives.

Upgrade causes Downgrade and Crazy Kids act Poorly

Upgrade causes Downgrade

I want you to understand that I don't love Barbie dolls. They are a VERY minor thing that I play with. That still doesn't mean that I can't get one. That's what I was trying to do at Walmart yesterday.
Unfortunately, Walmart has made their Barbie section 'better'. Before, the Barbie section had Barbie dolls in a plastic container. All the barbie would have with her (or him) would be a swimsuit and a cardboard surfboard. The doll would cost aabout $6.
Now, every barbie that's worth getting is in a set. It's either 'Barbie wedding' or 'shrek-loving Barbie' or 'zodiac Barbie.' One of these dolls costs about $15. I have more than $15 but I want to spend my money on a different thing that costs about $25.
The only Barbies I liked had stinky purfume on them and the one and only Ken there looked like a real dope.
The other dolls I liked weren't even Barbies. The problem with them was that they're eyes looked hypnotized. Also, it's NOT natural to have silver plus signs in your eyes.

Crazy Kids act Poorly

When I was in Walmart, looking for a decent doll to get, (by the way, I didn't get one), I witnessed two groups of crazy kids and saw two types of things that had been stolen.
Crazy group one was composed of 3 boys with brown hair and 1 boy with blonde hair. The crazy kids each got a softball and started playing something or other with them in the toy section. The bad thing was that those boys had NOT bought the balls. A little later, I think that someone came to tell the boys not to do what they were doing. The boys dropped their balls and ran off.
Crazy group two was composed of three blonds girls. Two of them had a swordfight with unbought swords and then they paraded around wearing Darth Vader and Batman masks.
I saw two places where things had been stolen. (Not recently.) The first thing was two baseballs that had been stolen. The baseballs came with a bat, BUT the balls weren't there.
The second thing was a marble set. It had come in a plastic bag, but the bottom of the bag had been cut and the contents weren't there.
The things that happen in walmart, especially in the toy section, are crazy. And you see a lot of crazy things when you're in walmart for more than 1 hour.

Sing a song of sixpence, a rotten goose egg...

Athena the goose has REALLY wasted her time. For 5 weeks she has sat on a nest with at least seven eggs in it.
Athena started out with 9 eggs. Then a few days ago, 2 eggs were missing. Where those eggs are (or were) will remain a mystery for ever and ever.
The night before last night was a smelly night. By 'smelly' I mean that Athena/Weener had a rotten goose egg under her.
That egg was so gross. Athena had a little rotten egg on her foot and she had some on her underpants, too. The inside of the looked like muddy dark green gunk. The worse thing, of course, was how the egg smelled. It smelled like a combination of rotten vegetables, food in a goose's craw, and vomit. NOT a pleasant combination.
I discovered the rotten egg. After I had gotten Jason, we set about moving Athena off her nest. Athena was either literally scared stiff or momentarily parylized by the fumes of rotten egg. Anyway, when we lifted Athena off the nest, she stayed in the same position she was on the nest.
Jay and I have decided that all off the eggs of Athena are probably rotten. It's too late to decide otherwise, since all the eggs are in the compost.
Here is some Athena-info:
Athena is a brown chinese goose. She has an oink-like honk and has a very thin neck. Speaking of thin, Athena is very thin. Geese don't eat much food when they are on nests, so Athena weighs less than a DUCK right now. A goose weighing less than a duck is a extremely bad omen (for the goose) because that goose is unfortunately on the top of the 'Unfortunately, I'm Starving' list.
Athena has a long list of nicknmames. These are them:
Weener
Hot Dog
Weeney
Theaney
Thena
Frankfurter
Just for fun, here are some of the nicknames of a few other birds:
Miss Miah- Air Pump
Mister Loose- Luceale
Mister King- Kih-Nu-Gee
Mister Queen- Queenette, Beanie, Ku-Wu-E-Wu-Un
Miss Comet- Gromet
Mister Winston Goose- Minstern Goobohnt
Mister Snowflake- Toe-Flake

PLEASE NOTE- ALL THE 'MISS' AND 'MISTERS' IN THIS LAST LIST ARE NOT IN THE GOOSE'S ACTUAL NAME EXEPT FOR MISTER WINSTON GOOSE. ALL THE 'MISS' AND 'MISTERS' EXEPT FOR WINSTON'S ARE PROVIDED SO YOU CAN EASILY KNOW WHAT SEX EACH BIRD IS.
At any rate, Athena is off her rotten nest. She is so skinny that she is literally skin and bones.

One last thing: The two sentences before this one aren't supposed to be in italics or in bold. My computer is simply acting up.

Goat Family and Goat Kids

We have new kids! Myrtle, Sugar and Cygnus have all kidded. Cygnus gave birth to a black little buckling that I really like. Myrtle kidded a few days after her daught Cygnus. She has a white buckling and a brown doeling. Sugar kidded yesterday and now has a brown doeling.
Onyx had a doeling and a buckling but the doeling died from starvation. (Probably.)
Our goats have reached a pooint where it is hard to find if one goat is a aunt or a grandma to a different goat. These are some of the more straightforward relations. (I simply refuse to dod all the relations; it'd probably take a year, judging to the fact we have 26 goats... I think.)
To start the relations, Onyx is Patches' half-sister. Onyx is Patrae, dead Picas, Sugar, Spice, Pepper and Hermes' aunt. She is Sugar's kid's great aunt. Onyx is Calla, Capri, her dead buckling, Cypress, Pegesus, and her new buckling and dead doeling's mother. Onyx is Myrtle, Petal, Kettle, and Calla's doeling and buckling's grandmother. Onyx is Cygnus, Pluto, and Myrtle's doeling and buckling's great-grandmother.
Patches is Sugar kid's grandmother and she is also Myrtle's grandmother. Patrae is Myrtle's dad.
Delos is father of Calla, Capri, Cypress, Pegesus and Onyx's this year kids. Delos also sired Petal, Kettle, Sugar, Spice, Pepper, Carmel, and a lot others.
These relations are figuratively giving me an awful headache. Here is the craziest crazy relation. It's so crazy I don't know if it's correct.
I think that Hermes might be Myrtle's grandfather or Myrtle's great-uncle. Hermes probably isn't either of those, since he is younger that Myrtle.
Goat relations are CRAZY!!!!!!!!! I can hardly stand them!!!!! This is the last one: Delos is Myrtle's grandfather and Delos is Myrtle's other grandfather too. By the way, Calla is Myrtle's mother.

Goodbye, Goat Relations

My feelings towards Calla

Calla is a goat who I don't really like. She kicked the milk pail over this morning when Jason was milking her.

Calla
Once there was a Calla-goat,
Who had the brain of a burned-up oat.
She was stupid and she was dumb,
And really was a down-right bum.
Calla gave milk, that is true,
But milking her just made you blue.
Her teats were the size of a dried up bean,
And her udder was never, never clean.
Calla was OK in some ways,
But it would take days and days.
To find out what they were,
Maybe this was one: she had fur.
Calla, Calla was OK,
But I'd take a goose any day.

Sparky and Dodo

Sparky and Dodo are characters I created. Sparky is a "genius" who creates all sorts of inventions that never work very well.
Dodo is Sparky's friend. He is slow at thinking but he can say sensible things. Dodo helps Sparky with his inventions a lot, and gets yelled at by Sparky if anything goes wrong.
Here is a short and uncompleted story that shows what Sparky and Dodo are like.
Sparky Gets Yelled At
Sparky Miller and Dodo Smith were probably the craziest people in Snickerton, people usually said. Everything they did and said was out of the ordinary. For instance, people who saw where Sparky was right now might have fainted if they saw what Sparky was doing.
"This is probably the best Barbie Doll, don't you think, Dodo?" Sparky said in his 3-word-per-second way.
"Well, I don't think so." Dodo said," her hips are too fat."
Sparky was about too answer, but his girlfriend, Mimi Yoodana, suddenly walked into the aisle.
"Sparky! This is wonderful! You finally found the charm of Barbie Dolls. I'll help you find a few! How many do you need?" Mimi gushed.
"Oh hi, Mimi, I need three dolls." Sparky said.
"OK." Mimi moved along the aisle, looking like she was completely in her element. Finally she pulled down three different dolls.
"I got you three dolls. Their names are Erica, Karen, and Rachell." Mimi said.
Sparky walked over to Mimi to take a look at the dolls. Erica had long blonde hair, white skin and gray eyes. Karen had black hair, white skin and violet eyes. It was Rachell who made Sparky's stomach feel queasy. She had short red hair that stuck straight up from her scalp, along with two black eyes and gray skin. What made Sparky feel sick, however was her face. Her face was green as if she had just been seasick and her lips were twisted into an evil grin.
"What the heck?"Sparky sputtered."Thanks Mimi."
"You're welcome. I know Rachell looks awful, but you always have to have a doll in the hospital."
Sparky personally thought you always had to have a doll in the meat grinder, but all he said was "Thanks again, Mimi."
As Sparky, Dodo and Mimi walked out of the toy store ten minutes later, Mimi sighed.
"What's wrong, Mimi?" asked Sparky.
"Would you do me a favor?" Mimi asked.
"Sure. What?"
"Would you fix up my hair tomorrow?"
"Definitely, Mimi." said Sparky. "Come whenever you want."
"see you then."
"Yeah."
Sparky and Dodo hurried home. As soon as they were in the apartment Sparky went to the inventing room with his purchases.
Sparky ripped the packages the dolls were in open. He grabbed Erica first and yanked on her head. It must have been poorly attatched , because it came right off. Sparky set the head on the table he was at and threw Erica's body across the room. Sparky did the same procedure with Karen and Rachell.
The dolls heads soon were attatched to the sprays in the great hair fixer labeled 'hot air' 'water' and 'perfume.'
Mimi arrived at 2:15 the next day.
"Hi!" she said brightly.
"Hi,"said Sparky," come on and I'll get you settled into the hair fixer."
The 'settling in' process of the operation was very simple.