Tuesday, August 23, 2005

THE CRAZY CORNER. A PLACE FOR CRAZIES.

The crazy column. A place for crazies.


All right, now what should I have for a topic? This is a question that requires lots of thinking and always ends up in some boring list. I have come to one great idea. Why not right a topic on what to write for a topic? In this blog you'll read entertaining lists, humorous snippets from stories, and much more. And, since today and Tuesday are my last scheduled blog days, (read my blog entitled Public School to find out why), today and Tuesday will have extra colorful sentences. Now, down to the topic. What should I write down? I'm oviously writing something right now, DUH. But should I write about geese, or my brother, public school, books, this afternoon, tomorrow morning, or what? I'll start by writing down a list of ideas. Is this color killing your eyes? Good. It is mine too. Heh heh. Good way to get glasses early, don't you think? Now, down to business. (Seems like I can't do that today, don't you think?) ANYWAY, HERE'S MY STUPID LIST. DO YOU THINK I SHOULD CALL IT STUPID?
Here's my list. Can you read that? Anyway, here's my list.
BAD SPELLING
You know, a bit of relaxing writing. Like this: hi my friend. how r u? Yes, i'm sayuing this 2 u 4 reel. weel probublee c eech uthr at de libraree 2da. ur frend keely. p.s. iz thiz killing ur izs? it iz mine. it iz jasonz.
JUNK FOOD
Junk food is very bad for you. It detiriorates your brain and gives you alztimers. It clogs up your arteriest.
TOMORROW
Tomorrow is going to be the coolest day of my life. (Maybe.) It's on my birthday. It's my first day of public school. It's anyother day.

Okay, there's my list. It's probably boring, but it's colorful. Now, you are about to learn why Jason is so stupid. It's like this. (The story.)
Jason was born on his head. His parents fed him dog food that had canary droppings in it once he could eat. That's about all to the story.
All right, now I'm going to talk about stupid cartoon shows. Shows like Ed, Ed, n, Eddy, Mucha Lucha, and other brain fermentors.
Ed, Ed, n, Eddy is so stupid. Little people walking around in little hats, eating live fishes, and making crummy inventions. Mucha Lucha is idiodic. Little boys walking around punching each other. I can only say dumb with with Hamtaro. If you're rude and gore than say Hamtaro H a m f a r t o.
Now, here's an example of really bad spelling. madulin sat down. She wuz uh ugly gerl and she wuz studeeing the moovmunts ov plootoe. She had the craezeeust perpul izs.
There's the example of really bad spelling. Bad, don't you think? Now, here's a story for crazy people. (It's crazy.)

WARNING!!! IF YOU ARE SANE, DO NOT READ THIS STORY!!!!! IT IS HIGHLY INFECTUOUS TO THE BRAIN. CHOOSE, BETWEEN SANITY AND THIS STORY!!!!!!

Mr. Man walked around the manhole, thinking to himself. She was really tired of walking over the manhole, but she couldn't stop. Mr. Man saw a car coming closer to the manhole. After the car went safely through him, he decided to turn herself into a ghost. Just then the planet Saturn walked up. He looked unhappy. He tolt Mr Man that he had lost his best ring. Mr Man promised that he would find the Martian. Then neptunne said that he really appriciated Mr. Man finding his doorbell. Then pluto said hi. Then there was a bang and gunfire and Mr. Man was scattered all over the earth. Mr. Man got up and put his head back on. Mr. Man jumped up to the moon. Mr. Moon was asleep. Mr. Man jumped to the andromeda galaxy. He landed on the hottest, gaseous star he could find and then he played tag with all the pirana beetles he found there. Then it was time to go home. Mr. Man jumped on a comet and when the comet crashed in New York City he played with all the living, squashed, bruised people the comet had hit. Then Mr. Man grabbed ths slowest dinosaur in the sale barn that he could find. The dinosaur took him home to China and two minutes later Mr. Man was playing computer games on his holographic 10000 bit computer. K. O.

Now this story is a sleeping story. Enjoy.
Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this:
Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this: Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this: Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this: Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this: Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this: Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this: Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this: Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this: Once there was a man that said hi. Then he told a story like this: Until lions gobbled him up.


Tomorrow is my birthday and I start public school YEAH! Goodby, who knows when I'll write on this blog next. Check every month, okay?

1/2/06
HI. IT'S ME AGAIN.
Anyway, for you people who have brains instead of kidney beans, here's our family news: We moved to Mars two months ago. The martians are really friendly. They took us to Pluto for tea. Here's a poem:
THE SIDE AFFECTS OF SPELLING

Once there was a girl named Lizzy Jane,
Who had quite a lot of brain,
There was one subject,
Which she happened hate,
When the spelling teacher taught the students how to spell 'talk,'
Lizzy Jane would wish she could take a walk,
Once spelling even gave her the flu,
And her mom had to feed her an awful brew,
So read this closely and take heed,
Spelling is something you DO NOT need.
THIS POEM IS NOT PATENTED, SO DO NOT COPY OR I WILL HAVE TO TAKE DRASTIC MEASURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Jason in the song

This is a very fitting song about the behaivior of Jason.
SUNG TO THE TUNE OF ANY HARD JAZZ SONG!
Oh, Jason was a very stupid old man,
He didn't have the brain to open a can,
All he said was blab, blab, blab,
Oh, the case of him is very sad.

Oh, pick up your guitars and sing,
Of the case of the boy and the brain that went ding.
Jason, Jason, the tale is true,
And very sad for you.

Jason was very dumb,
He still sucked his thumb,
He always went tattle, tattle, tattle,
And his mouth always went rattle.

Oh, pick up your guitars and sing,
Of the case of the boy and the brain that went ding.
Jason, Jason, the tale is true,
And very sad for you.

Jason was so stupid and dumb,
He was a filthy, sucky ol' bum,
He fell down a cliff and broke his head,
And then Mr. Jason was struck out dead.

Oh, pick up your guitars and sing,
Of the case of the boy and the brain that went ding.
Jason, Jason, the tale is true,
And very sad for you.

Jason, Jason, the story is done,
He didn't know how to handle a gun.
The people at the fun'ral said how brave was he,
When really Jay couldn't battle a flea.

Oh, pick up your guitars and sing,
Of the case of the boy and the brain that went ding.
Jason, Jason, the tale is true,
And very sad for you.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Why the last three days have been misery for me

By now you are wondering WHAT is the matter with me. Well, to give you the truth, I'll tell you the truth. (That's a bit of a duh, don't you think?) Anyway, I have had a cold since Saturday.
First day of cold-really sore throat
Second day of cold-really sore throat
Third day of cold-very faint sore throat, really runny nose, slight cough, slight headache
Fourth day of cold-very faint sore throat, really runny nose, slight cough, slight headache
Cough cough, anyway, I'm feeling rotten, and I think that I probably won't feel really gung ho tomorrow. IF I AM SICK ON FRIDAY I AM GOING TO PULL MY HAIR OUT!!!!!!
If you know my e-mail adress, please sympasize with me.

Keely's August 13th through August 20th planner
August 13th- get sick
August 14th-stay sick
August 15th-go into town and stay sick
August 16th-stay sick, go into town, and do school
August 17th-stay sick, play with friend, or do nothing
August 18th-recover from cold and do school
August 19th- go into town
August 20th- do something fun, like play with friend

OH YEAH-THE PARADE IS ON AUGUST 27TH AT 10 O CLOCK. DARN. I'M THINKING ABOUT HAVING MY BIRTHDAY PARTY ON THE 27TH AT 4 O CLOCK. I'LL FIGURE THAT OUT LATER, HOWEVER.

Public School

It turns out that I am going to be going to public school this fall. I will be going to Sheridan Junior High. I will also be doing 6th grade.
The school starts on August 24th which, incidentaly, just so happens to be my birthday. On Wednesday I went into town to do these placement tests with my counselor, Mrs. Emery. The principal for this school is Scott Stults.
This school is brand new. I read in the newspaper several days ago that the construction of this school costed $15 MILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad filled out most of the regristration forms for me-I had to sign my name-but we're going to finish them on Friday the 19th, the day of the orientation for the school.
I'm going to be able to choose two courses for myself. I've already chosen them and they are going to be P.E. and Choir.
Yesterday I went into town to get clothing and shoes for school. That was the most horrible day in August for me, and you will see why if you look at the blog entitled 'Why the last few days have been misery for me'.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Movie character crosses

Kangaroo Jack + Darth Vader = Kangarth Jader
Count Dooku + Willy Wonka =Wount Donka
Charlie Bucket + Harry Potter=Cherry Pucket
Pocahontas +Albus Dumbledore= Palbus Docahondore

THESE NAMES MEAN-
Kangaroo Jack means 'Kang a roo Jack'
Darth Vader means 'Dar The Vader'
Count Dooku means 'count Dook, u'
Willy Wonka means 'will ye wonk uh?'
Charlie Bucket means 'Char lee bucket'
Harry Potter means 'Herr Y. Pot Ter
Pocahontas means 'Poke a hontas'
Albus Dumbledore means 'Al Busdum Bled door'

Keely's August Calender

August 8th- Calla's doeling gets butchered.


August 19th- Full moon.


August 24th- MY BIRTHDAY!!
YIPPEE! DID YOU KNOW THAT MORE PEOPLE HAVE BIRTHDAYS IN AUGUST THAN ANY OTHER MONTH?!



August 31st- End of month.



August 9th 2005 for Virgos-
You are going to be dead bored, have a headache, and do something one hour earlier.



Joke for August 9th 2005-
What do you get if you cross Star Wars with a toad?
Star Warts!

The code of Dung Beetle

Dung Beetle sat back in the musty chair he had found in the grimy room. He sighed. His first days of being King were not doing very well.
"King Dungbeetle,"Buggin said, hurrying in to the room."Lord Blueberry is here."
"Bring him in." said Dungbeetle.
"How is the war progressing, Blueberry?" Dungbeetle asked.
"Not very well, your Lordship."Blueberry said." I mean, we've shot 15 more cars in the last week, but that's about it."
"I see."
"I was thinking that we should make a code or two and then mail all the badcars about what to do next."
"That's a REALLY dopey idea, Blueberry. How would other cars know it? Still I'll make a code. No, you won't. I will."


Baddy mail was driving quickly through the dark streets of Badside . He nearly got to Shev's house when he ran into 7 goodcars, all armed with loaded heat seaking missle launchers.
"I'm o-on a diplomatic mission."Baddy Mail shrieked,"don't hurt me! Hurt DungBeetle! Let me go! I didn't do anythi-"
"Shut up."Moon said sharply." Yellow, Evergreen, empty him of luggage. The rest of you, hold your guns at firing point."
Half an hour later, Baddy Mail decided he was having the worse time of his life. He was hanging in Beeper's dirtiest, grimiest dungeon cell by his exhaust pipe and every once in a while a goodcar would come in to throw some rotten food at his face. If the goodcar missed, somebody else would try later.

Skeeper sat on Beeper's throne and read Baddy Mail's letter to Bop.
"It says 'Deer Shev, I feel lik it's definitlee opposit da. The badcars hav wun the war and that's good, don't u think? I don't want u 2 gather up our huge forces and drive the last badcars owt. don't meet at the goodcar pineneddle stor toda. Do u no how minee wepuns weev got. it's not ur folt. thank u, king dung beetle bug."'
"I'm thinking all that means the opposite. It'd be,'Dear Shev, I feel like it's definitely opposite day. The goodcars have won the war and that's bad, don't you think? I want you to gather up our small forces and drive the first goodcars out. Meet at the badcar wood store tonight. Do you know how many weapons we've got? It's you fault. No thank you, King Dung Beetle Bug.'"
"Ahhhhhh," said Bop.


Dungbeetle put a movie into a battered TV. It was called Muscle-car.
"Uma uh uma uh," the guy in the movie said." Asha pa no ima uma uma uh uh."
Dungbeetle found the movie enticing. He chanted the words to himself. Uma uh uma uh asha pa no ima uma uma uh uh. Uma uh uma uh asha pa no ima uma uma uh uh. Uma uh um-
"Dungbeetle, the goodcars are entering this building. Come on."
"I'm king. Come on. Uma uh uma uh asha pa no ima uma uma uh uh. "Dungbeetle yelled.
to be continued...

Ideas for what to be on Halloween

Hmm... this is a bit early to be thinking about halloween costumes, but better now than never. (Besides, this is one of the only interesting topics I can think about putting on my blog today.) :( Anyway, here is my list of things I could and want to do.

Darth Vader- I'd love to be him- I just don't want to spend $25 on a costume.

The Hairball of Doom- All right, I'm exaggerating on the of doom part, but this costume would be great. I mean, I could wear any color of clothing under my costume. The problem is, it would be REALLY hard to make the costume and I don't think Walmart sells huge halloween hairballs.

A Tyrannasourous- How in the world could I do that one? Yet again, an incompetence at Walmart.

A Giant Baseball Bat- Example of getting candy: "GIVE ME CANDY OR I WILL KNOCK YOU OUT COLD! NO?" WHACK!!!! I'm joking about that.

A Mummy With Evil Red Eyes and a Rotted Smell- That might be possible, BUT, I DON'T think Mom and Dad would appriciate me smelling up the car.


I've been a witch about three times, I've been a stinking red ghoul once, I've been a frog once, and once I was a ghost. (That ghost sheet was used for our bird cover and is covered in poo.)
I know you're know wondering "Why haven't you ever been a princess?" The answer: I don't believe in being beautiful at halloween.
Jason once was a septic tank box. Last year he was a garbage bag ghoul. No kidding!

A Little Bit on Physcology and Goose Brain

This page in my blog desribes the amount of brain the doober-foober goose Loose has.
Loose is, at first glance, a perfectly ordinary goose. Guess again. Loose is literaly afraid of EVERYTHING!!!!!!
This morning Jason took Loose over to the milk parlor. (He does that every morning, although he usually doesn't take Loose.) When I was watering the goats, I decided Loose needed S.T., or Snake Therapy. (It is more like Snake Torture.)
Later, Jason had put Loose on a low roof like thing on the hen pen. We learned then that LOOSE IS AFRAID OF HIS OWN FEATHERS!!!!!!!!!
Here is a poem desribed Loose:
Oh, Loose wants to be good,
But I doubt he ever could.
Oh Looloo Looloo you're so silLY
Your brain is going willy nilly.
Loosey prob'ly thinks Miah's neck is a snake,
He's doesn't have the brain of a drake.
Oh Looloo Looloo you're so silLY
Your brain is going willy nilly.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Keely's Calendar

Special dates:
January 1st: New Year's Day!
Febuary 7th: Just an ordinary day, but I had to put something in for Febuary.
March 8th: Dad's birthday (I think)!
April 29: Mom's birthday!
May 11th?:Sarah's birthday!
June 21st:Summer. Yea/groan!
July 4th: Fourth of July!
August 24th:MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
August 28th:Aunt Shirley's birthday!
Semtember 5th:Labort day!
October 31st:Halloween. Boo!
October 23rd?:Zoe's birthday!
November 9th:Jason's birthday. BOO!
December 24th-25th:Chrismastime!

August 4th 2005 for Virgos-
You are prone to be typing something into a computer. You are also prone to be bored, anticipating a walk, and wearing a sweater.

Joke for August 4th 2005-
Two blonds walked into a building.
One said "oh, we should have seen that."

Get it? The blonds walked into the wall. (Crash!)
They didn't walk through the door.
HEY! I'M NOT HEARING LAUGTHER!!!
TRY THIS KIND. HA HA HA!!!!!

Official Joke for August 4th 2005-
Redneck Anthem
You know you're a redneck if you think the last four words of the national anthem are:
"Gentlemen, start your engines!"

Funny and not official joke for August 4th 2005-
Michael Jackson's shnoz-
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalog.